This might feel like a very challenging time. Kids are especially vulnerable to scary messages and confusing talk about the unknown for our family, community, and world when it comes to a pandemic.
I would call a family meeting with prepared things to say to talk through the reality of your family’s approach, values about the situation so your kids can align with it. This instills confidence which boosts our immune system as a result.
Possible topic options to share are:
We are choosing to self-quarantine to limit exposure. This is the choice that has the most power for our family. We might have a healthy immune system but by staying isolated we also will support not overburdening the local medical system so people who really need their help can get the care they need. That’s important to our family so all people can get better.
We are choosing to keep you out of school because right now the world health organization (WHO) has said to not convene in places with 100 people or more. This choice is a powerful one because we can always catch up in education. Not getting ill or limiting the risk of it helps our whole community.
For children 5 and under who ask questions, gently let them know they don’t need to worry about it, that you and the adults in their life are doing everything to keep them well. If they are curious or highly sensitive (personality type) and continue to ask questions answer their question directly. “Will people die from this?” This can happen. Keep it short and simple and let them form another question from your answer. “Will you or I die?” No, it won’t affect us that way. (stay away from wanting to say, the chronically ill and old etc. This is too big a concept for curious young minds 5 and under.
For children 6 years old, similar to what we do with 5 and under. However, they are with peers who might have parents who are sharing “too much”. This can give your 6-year-old a lot of questions. It’s better to follow the child’s emotions in this case and teach them how to self soothe. “Mom Jenny’s mom said all of the grandpas are going to die and that there will be no help for them and nobody can do anything about it!” After they finish pause, this energetically resets the tone and makes sure they have it all out. About 10 seconds is good. Then say to them, while this virus is affecting many people and when it started it affected more men than women, there is a small percentage of older adults who were already sick and may die without the appropriate medical attention. Pause. Do you feel scared? Pause. “Yes, I don’t want grandpa to die!” Answer with no words but instead a gentle head-bob and the sound mmmm (with the intent you are considering what they are saying). Then pause. “And what if I never see him again.” Pause and be an attentive listener. What your aiming for is allowing the child to express all of their fears. What happens when we don’t intervene is our child figures it out for themselves through realization. If you see their distress don’t try to take it away or make it better. Let them express it because when you let them go long enough with attentive listening they most often come to statements like “But Grandpa is healthy, he just ran that race. I bet grandpa will be fine!” Pause…”I think you’re right.” This process allows the child to process through the feelings, come to a resolution and let it go, allowing them to get back to living their life. If you intervene by coming up with ideas the child will not get the benefit and may get stuck in fear.
For kids 7-11 years old
Have a family meeting. Setting expectations and sharing your family’s value system around what you feel is the right way to do things is important for kids this age. We want both to keep our child from panicking and from being careless during this unsettling time. A simple meeting might go like this:
“We are concerned about the Coronavirus. The CDC and World Health Organization have recommended washing hands frequently. Not touching your eyes or mouth with your hands. Sneezing or coughing into the sleeve of your arm or using a tissue and throwing it away right away. For your family’s values, you might share, this is a time to make sure you don’t share gloves, hats, lip balm with your friends. Bumping elbows in place of hugging. We are monitoring the situation and there may come a point where we need to stay at our house and have limited contact with our outside world simply to stop the spread of this virus. The good news is there are ways to connect with your friends by facetime and other online modalities.
If your area is already under quarantine or physical distancing:
You can spend time in the yard or outside as long as you keep a distance of about 6 feet (two meters) from others. We can play games, watch movies and be together. This quarantine is to be taken seriously because that is the power we have to keep everybody safe.
For Teens 12-20
Share the same information that you did with the 7-11-year-old kids. If you have children from different age splits tell your older children not to share things they’ve heard at school or elsewhere with the young ones. That these things can be shared with parents privately. Teens might want to go out and be social, have jobs or might not want to let their athletic team down. They might be getting pressure from friends that their parent’s rules are dumb and there is nothing to worry about. Talk to your child about healthy behavior during a time like this. It is not like the regular flu that is a very bad flu. It is not worth putting yourself into a risky situation. The child’s body may be just fine, however, infecting somebody you love who has a body that might not do as well with it and have limited access to medical help due to demand is what we’re trying to reduce. We want to keep as many people healthy as possible so those who get sick and need help have plenty of access to fully heal.
If they are still going to school or sharing common areas with friends, remind them not to touch their friend’s cell phone or let a friend touch their cell phone. If they need to make a call on a friend’s cell phone have their friend dial and put the phone on speaker. Have your child wash the phone each night with soap and water, rubbing alcohol or a hand sanitizer.
If they feel safe at work and are interacting with others tell them to wash their hands often and not touch their face. Back up from people to keep a 6-foot distance. Much of this flu is spread through water molecules from talking and breathing. (Michael Osterholm University of Minnesota shared this) not just from coughing and sneezing. Reminders each time they go to work may seem annoying to the child but it is important they don’t start to think, “my mom and dad didn’t say anything” maybe its ok or they forgot.
I am not one to shy away from people when they’re ill. This illness has very little known about it. Once a virus is created it will always exist, meaning this might not be the last time we see it hit communities. If we can ease this wave of burden and learn more about the virus we might be able to ideally prevent further breakouts down the road or help lessen the scope of breakouts so the people who are ill can get the care they need to fully restore.
Because the Covid-19 virus is especially challenging the respiratory system I highly recommend seeing if you can access elderberry syrup. Whether premade or dried berries. Here’s a link to an elderberry syrup recipe. https://wellnessmama.com/1888/elderberry-syrup/
If you like holistic things this is a great time to teach your kids about things like Qigong active exercise or Tai Chi. Ask them to learn it with you and find a video on youtube. Teach your kids to open windows, get daily exercise, fresh air and sunshine. This will help them learn how to really keep their body healthy.
This article was written on March 15th, 2020 and CoVID-19 has found its way into 155 countries out of 195 worldwide. (John Hopkins world map https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/map.html) The very first case in Wuhan, China was confirmed on December 1st of 2019. (Michael Osterholm University of Minnesota). If you track on this map of how China is doing, they are restoring well at this point. The hardest-hit places are where the outbreak got out of control and medical help became limited, resulting in more deaths. Some countries will struggle, England’s healthcare system is short 100,000 nurses and doctors and sadly we see the percent of deaths to a number of cases higher than most developed nations. Please send intention to all effected that they heal and find strength and support during this challenging time. It’s just hit the city where I live one week before with our first cases. We now have 54 cases. Schools closed today (thank goodness) and action is being taken. I see a community that has rallied in so many ways. It appears by my novice tracking since early February it takes 5-6 months for a country to heal from the disease and restore some semblance of normality or find its way back to center. Please know as a world we are in this together to the degree we can be. I have offered immune support to my family, friends, and groups I connect to. You likely have something you can give. Share it amply because now is the time.